Release

  The cares of the world hung heavy on me like an old wool coat--so I walked. 

I took the dogs and walked

Across the field, through the meadow, past horses, farms and cows

Up the hill to the top where it looks over the edge of eternity.

And I stood.

I stood with the dogs at my feet, grasses teasing my legs.

The wind, in its careless manner took my heavy coat

And threw it across the hill, over the meadow, in amongst the grasses.

Suddenly, I was made light!

Grass and sky, dog and wind became me!

Time ceased to be.

In that one perfect moment-

with the wind blowing across my mind and through the tips of my hair-

I lived.

Insomnia

 The night didn't fall; it rushed upon me.

 Attacking me while I lay on my bed

 Climbing up me like Hillary up Everest

Staking its claim for  the moon to see.

It wraps me in its velvet arms

Whispering  softly as it comes

It pours over me like a lovers tongue.

Caressing my very soul with its charms.

And I lie there awake yet dreaming.

In my fevered state it comes sneaking

Stealing its way into my brain

Over my skin and through my veins

Like a drug it courses through my body

Pulsating, throbbing, intensifying

Until it explodes behind my eyes

Then gently kissing the corners of my mind

Before leaving me crumpled in disarray

Vulnerable and exposed to the oncoming day.

The Cowboy Angel

 

My landlady and neighbor is named Barbara.  She and I have had our differences.  But I have developed a certain regard for the lady, especially since she seems to actually like me.  Her dogs--two chihuahua ladies named Autumn and Lucy B--seem to love me as well.  Lucy has become my 'New Best Friend'.  It's her horses that are behind me--Lucky, Rebel and Big Boy.  They are very sweet--well, except for Lucky, he doesn't like men but he seems to really like me and I him.  But Miss Barbara has a gentlemen friend--Bruce--who comes over twice a day to care for the horses.  He's almost seventy and she was 67 on New Years.  They have know each other for over thirty years.  They were there when each suffered the lost of their spouses.  They have been through so much together.  She said she would not marry him out of respect for their spouses memories.  He makes sure she is taken care of.  She calls him her 'Cowboy Angel'.  And, yes, he looks like a cowboy.  When they look at each other it is a very deep and knowing look.  There is a love story there.  And it gives me hope.



In The Drivers Seat



  It's a gray day today.  The sky is overcast and it's just cold out.  I pull up Putney to Main and stop at the light.  A young woman with a baby stroller crosses in front of me followed by some guy in a suit trying hard to overtake her.  (Asshole)  Just as the light changes two college guys pass me in a light blue Camry acting like Steve McQueen and James Dean.  (Seriously? In a Camry?)  Then I see the two young ladies who were obviously not adequately dressed for such a chilly day.  I just shake my head and drive on.  The Kroger parking lot was pretty packed to be 3:30 on a Wednesday afternoon.  I found what I needed in five minutes flat.  So did everybody else.  Two registers were open--but only the two.  And the lines were looking like those at a carnival ride.  The woman in front of me was complaining about it the whole time I was standing there doing the "move the hell out of the way" shuffle for the other shoppers.  But someone must have heard her swan song because they opened another register.  Where did all these people come from?  Finally, back in my car and moving slowly down High Street I pass the new science building and Jarman Hall.  Classes must have let out--there were students everywhere.  Now the thing about college students is they never look.  They walk out into the street and keep going.  They talk on their cell phones, cluster together in sometimes drunken groups and just randomly walk out in front of you as if you weren't  even there.  They're like zombies in some weird video game you play from behind the wheel of your car. But today, listening to Dave Matthews and his 'Dancing Nancies' and watching the guy in front of me checking out some poor girls ass, I just breathe deep and smile to myself.  Life.  What a fantastic trip it is.  And I am so very grateful to still be in the drivers seat.



Just an Ordinary Woman



  I am me-owned by no one-given freely to those of my choosing

-taking only want is needed-belonging nowhere and everywhere. 

 I am strong yet weak, smart but naive, kind and yet a bitch. 

 I can make you feel like the king of the earth or the lowest thing to crawl upon it.  But I am very forgiving.

 I may not pretty but I can be beautiful.  I am not evil but I can be a little wicked.  I require three things: love, respect and dignity.  And in return I will give you everything.

 I am a woman--I am me.

Drift Away

I lay here-

My hair draped across your arm-

My head upon your still bare chest.

I wear your body like a blanket.

The taste of your skin on my lips

Makes me hunger for more.

Our bodies--once raging; insatiable

Now relaxed and languid

Legs intertwined, become one.

Moonlight dances across the room

And down the wall coming to rest on us.

While the air is still heavy with love

I drift away-

Wood Rose

 The wind is dancing wildly outside.  Beyond my window I can see leaves swirling and falling to the ground.  Branches, half bare, bend low to catch them.  A night bird sings out his hollow song and embraces my soul.  I turn to see you sleeping, silver moonlight touching your face.  You lay warm and  vulnerable; completely unaware of anything.  You are a man and yet you are a child.  You are my heart.

  Beside is the last wood rose.  As I rescue it from its crystal prison petals fall at my feet.  They pool like silent tears.  One day, like this wood rose, I too shall lose my beauty.  So love me now my darling, for I fear you may not love me then.