Glass

Why?
You were here.
I was happy.
We were 'us'.


The days were warm
Even in the winter
'Cause you were here.

The sun was bright, shining

Even through the rain

'Cause you were here.

There was sweet, wonderful music

Even in the dead of night

'Cause you were here.

The world made sense
Even while it was falling down
'Cause you were here.



No one ever told me
That blue could turn black;
That summer could be cold;
That silence could be the loudest sound on earth.

No one ever told me

That the night was an ocean

And the world was made of glass...

...Until it shattered.

Angels and devils fought,

Prisms of color danced behind exploding lies,

Fire froze.

And when the ocean stopped swallowing
You were gone.


You were here.
There was an 'us'.
I was happy.

The Walking Dead

The evening grew long as a chill settled in for the night.

My dogs and I ventured out for one last walk as dusk wrapped its

velvet arms around us.

I breathed deep

inhaling the spicy pines

and decaying leaves underfoot.

A hungry wind devoured what leaves were left clinging

helplessly to the trees.

I could hear voices echoing down the years

and whistling softly through naked branches.

The spoke of lives spent

from the ravages of time;

from loss, fear, self-doubt and loathing.

When death claims life it is final;

the pain is gone, the story done.

But for the living who know no comfort from their own loss,

who drown in their own pity

and live only in their memories

death does not come for them.

They are the walking dead

and are as real as the wind

picking his teeth with the tree branches.

They are shadows that cry in the night,

a hunger that can never be satisfied.

My dogs sniff the air as if anticipating

the arrival of some unforeseen entity.

The moon is full and heavy as though in its ninth month.

It hangs behind my house waiting for us to return.

So we do

and I close the door on the shadow world-

its hollow secrets-

and the walking dead.



GOOD MORNING

As the dawn awakens you reach for me.

I burrow down close into you--

Feeling your warmth encompass me--

Breathing your muskiness mingled with mine.

Your flesh is my flesh.

Your heartbeat is my heartbeat.

I become you.

Our bodies are as fluid as one motion.

Arms and legs intertwine into one being.

We dance our dance before the rising sun

Brazen with desire--hungry with need.

Throbbing, pulsating rhythms tear at

Our thighs, our backs, our bellies.

Our bodies convulse as if possessed  by some demon

Shooting hot molten lava through our brains.

And in one long breath you relax as my own body gives way to peace.

We lay there full and at ease with the world as the sun says, "Good Morning."

THE ACTOR

Under the glaring spotlights
On top of the wooden stage
In front of the heavy velvet curtain
The actor becomes the sage.

He wears all the costumes
He plays all the parts
He invokes all his lines
He knows them all by heart.

But now he has come to the end
He had played his last show
And taken his final bow
Only thing left to do is go.

One last curtain call
One last look around
One last deep breath
Before the echoing silence comes down.

He exits stage left
Through the side door
Onto the street

Where the actor, once cheered,
Now just blends into
The throngs of a million feet.

When I go

When I go what will I leave behind?

Will it be desired and loved?

Or just old and falling apart?

Will it have the power to heal a trampled heart?

Will there be music and dancing?

Or just apathy and striff?

Will I have been able to change a life?

When I go what will I go to?

Will there be angles and singing?

Or will it be shadows and gloom?

Or just the constant darkness of the tomb?

I'll go it alone as we all must

Until my body returns to dust.

But before I go drifting away

I want to be able to say

That I laugh a hell of a lot,

I loved much and more often than not,

And I truly lived every single day!

Ghosts

I cleaned out the kitchen cabinets this morning

and there in the back of the cabinet

behind the other cups and glasses

your cup sat, cracked and untouched

where you left it--

I threw it away.

I finally cleaned out the closet this afternoon

to pack up a lot of old stuff for charity

and there in the back behind the winter coats

I found your old letterman jacket

still in the plastic were you had it cleaned.

I gave it away.

I cleaned out my dresser tonight

and there under my lacy nighties and stockings,

my bras and panties

I found a letter-

a love letter you had written-

a few cherished promises you had given and I believed.

I burnt it in the ashtray.

Ghosts.

All ghosts.

They linger here to haunt me.

They dance in my head and taunt me.

They know if they stay long enough I'll conjure you up.

And that's no good for anyone.

So I'm exorcising them-

from my home,

from my head,

from my heart.

I am clean.

I am free.

And it's a brand new day.



for Kristen

There once was a little girl

who had a little curl

right in the center of her forehead.

And on her left arm

where it ought not belong

a huge lump surfaced instead.

Firm and big it grew

and as it grew

the terrible sinking fear of her family did too.

The doctors news they anxiously claimed

and in horror realized the lump

had a name.

Rhabdomyosarcoma was its nomenclature

A very big word for one so small in stature.

Chemotherapy seemed the way to go

But how well it would work they simply did not know.

Days and weeks and months eventually passed

and she grew tired of tile and steal and glass.

She grew tired of doctors and nurses; of IVs and needles

and things that go 'bip' in the night.

But mainly it was the other sick children

Who never came back when they left her sight

that worried her and gave her the most freight.

She herself became thin and pale and weak

her eyes were sunken and she was hallow of cheek.

Then sadly her beautiful curls fell out in piles-

The finale mark of a cancer child.

Unlike her counterparts who were

healthy and carefree.

She went through so much

for a child of only three.

(Shannon Marie and Kristen Michelle)

Death by Cancer or Death by Chemo-

What a hell of a thing to have to choose.

But when you hold your dying child in your arms

You know you have nothing else to loose.

But her mother in one last desperate plea

Had them remove every tube, every needle, every IV.

Though the doctors strongly disapproved

She did it anyway.

And because she did

You turned twenty today.

Happy Birthday Kristen Michelle.

I love you.

(Alicia Danielle, Shannon Marie and Kristen Michelle)